>Allow me to introduce myself, I am Kyukyu. You can call me Kyu or Zombivy. I am a nerdy gamer and one very powerful magnet of the "wtf/omg/lmao seriously" situations. Now most of my life I have seen this as a flaw. Because... if it can go wrong... it usually does. However... I think it is becoming my own super power.
I was inspired to share my stories because of blog Hyperbole and a Half. I certainly plan to illustrate some important aspects of the tale with visuals. Once I have the ability to (my lap-top is currently vacationing in tornado ally, he is on holiday, I've been rough on him he deserved some rest and relaxation). Also, I enjoy swearing and being vulgar... just to warn you.
>Today I had I had a bad nerd rage... worst in a long time. In a series of events I manage to fall and smack my head on something leaving a nice upside down T. This is how it went...
Fell asleep on couch, wrapped in the warmest blankets with a dog curled up by my legs and a cat on my head. The couch... also conveniently right in front of our old school wall heater that blows one direction. That's right a direct blast of heat.
Woke up drenched in sweat and a mouth full of cat hair, with my phone going off like crazy and very angry Japanese blaring from the TV. Thinking the world was ending as I usually do when waking up I panicked. Flinging animals off of me I jump up landing my pretty right foot in a nice cold steaming dog turd... "Fucking really dog? I have been asleep 2 hours." Being pissed mumbling about how she went outside and did business right before the nap I hop toward the bathroom to splash into a carpet puddle. Love the feeling of frigid dog piss between my toes. Yeah... just like that. Sometime between the piss and shower I manage to hit my head... I really am not sure of what. Fell and BAM!
Let Nomi dog out and... of course... she books it (very unusual) over across the street. "OMG MOMMY IS GOING TO MURDER ME!!! EEEeeeeeeeee!!!!"
Me without shoes runs out on the frozen ground, trying to get her to return to the yard... not daring venture into the sharp rocks of foot death to physically grab the little shit. But of course there had to be a little old lady who wanted me to tell the epic tale of my dog's one eye in shoutaneeze...
"She is the dreaded One-eyed Pirate Nomi! While pillaging the high seas she avoided the scurvy but, alas, it be the fork of a drunken sailor that took her eye!"
True story.
Then my phone rings some more... I try to answer the thing to have it chime at me explaining I do not have service... of course. Now cell phone's and their affiliates know of my deep seeded hatred for talking on the phone so they sure make it as difficult as possible to deal with them. For some reason entering a password wrong twice three months ago on the website make me a security risk who has a banned account. >-<
Finally after about 30 mins of arguing with a world dominating conspiring phone robot who wants me to tell it what I want from it (note: To fuck off and die, is not an available option.) Long ramble/rage short... I have phone service again.
And clean feet.
I am just glad the red upside-down "T" on my forehead isn't a lower case "t" because the next thing I need is to give the general public more of an opportunity to relate my existence with the devil or something. I don't feel like being beaten to death with a Bible or burned. So... *facepalm* *winch* *laugh*
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